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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2401 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,563

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,563

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Shared recently on Discord:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spotted on WeChat:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Live now on Instagram:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Trending via Facebook:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just shared via X:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2401 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,563

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,563

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Going viral on TikTok:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Shared recently on Threads:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Spotted on Instagram:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Live now on Pinterest:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

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