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Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory. - 60 shares on Threads this week.
There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough… - 30 shares on X this week.
Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation. - 56 shares on Reddit this week.
I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do. - 20 shares on LinkedIn this week.
Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy. - 26 shares on LinkedIn this week.

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Updated: 2 minutes ago

Funny quotes » penalty

Funny penalty quotes

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Posted on2 days ago

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