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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Trending via Threads:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Making waves on TikTok:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

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Funny penne quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Reported on Discord:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Making waves on X:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Just landed via Instagram:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

Just shared via Slack:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Trending via TikTok:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

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