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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2412 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,574

Funny Quotes Topics

15,242

Funny Quotes Images

12,574

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Just shared via Threads:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Reported on Reddit:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Spotted on Instagram:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Just landed via Slack:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Just shared via X:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2412 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,574

Funny Quotes Topics

15,242

Funny Quotes Images

12,574

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Making waves on Discord:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Trending via Telegram:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Reported on YouTube:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Seen just now on Messenger:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Seen just now on X:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

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