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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Making waves on Threads:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Breaking via YouTube:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Funny perfect fit quotes

New funny perfect fit quotes 👇

All funny perfect fit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

47 shares on WeChat this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

43 shares on X this month:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Spotted on Reddit:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Trending via Threads:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Live now on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Live now on Discord:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

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