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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Just shared via Messenger:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Broadcasted on Discord:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Trending via WeChat:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Going viral on Discord:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Reported on Threads:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Just shared via X:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

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