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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Making waves on Reddit:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Just landed via Threads:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Making waves on Slack:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

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Funny personal problems quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Going viral on Slack:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Just shared via YouTube:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Trending via X:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Trending via X:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

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