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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Reported on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Spotted on Reddit:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Trending via Twitch:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Reported on TikTok:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Going viral on X:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Trending via Messenger:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Shared recently on X:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

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Funny petroleum quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Trending via Instagram:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Spotted on YouTube:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Going viral on WeChat:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Spotted on Facebook:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Going viral on YouTube:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

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