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Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Commentary:
"Me trying to make sense of today's news like 🤯🔍, except all I see are memes and cat videos 🐱📰 #TheStruggleIsReal"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Spotted on WeChat:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Reported on Pinterest:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Breaking via Messenger:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Going viral on Messenger:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Breaking via TikTok:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

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Funny piece together quotes

New funny piece together quotes 👇

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

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