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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Making waves on Reddit:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Shared recently on Discord:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Live now on Pinterest:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Making waves on Slack:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Going viral on Facebook:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Funny pinky promise quotes

Funny pinky promise quotes 💖🤞 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your heartfelt vows! Whether you’re sealing secrets or making playful pacts, these witty lines bring laughs and love together. Ready to turn your tiny pinky promises into big smiles? Let the giggles and good vibes flow! 😂✨

New funny pinky promise quotes 👇

All funny pinky promise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

11 shares on X this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

27 shares on X this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Just shared via TikTok:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Just shared via Telegram:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Spotted on YouTube:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Going viral on TikTok:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Shared recently on Slack:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

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