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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Making waves on Threads:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Trending via X:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Making waves on Twitch:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Just landed via Slack:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Just shared via Messenger:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Just landed via Slack:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Making waves on Twitch:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Breaking via X:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Live now on Threads:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

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