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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Trending via Facebook:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Trending via Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Trending via YouTube:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Making waves on Instagram:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Live now on Pinterest:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite color is money.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dear music, thanks!

Trending via Messenger:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Just shared via Instagram:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

Spotted on Slack:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Going viral on TikTok:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Spotted on Discord:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

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