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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Going viral on Discord:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Shared recently on Slack:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Trending via Reddit:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Spreading quickly via X:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Trending via WeChat:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Reported on Reddit:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Trending via Messenger:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Trending via TikTok:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Going viral on Facebook:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Making waves on Discord:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

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