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3 weeks ago
Share →: Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

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Trying to find the point feels like trying to find WiFi in the woods… good luck with that! 🧐📡🌳

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Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

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Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

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It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

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A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

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IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

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It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

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Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

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Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

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Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

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Spotted on Threads:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Shared recently on Slack:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Going viral on Threads:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Trending via Snapchat:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

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Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

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