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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Shared recently on X:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Breaking via X:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Just shared via Instagram:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Trending via Reddit:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Trending via Instagram:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Reported on TikTok:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Trending via Reddit:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Going viral on Instagram:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

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