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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Going viral on YouTube:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Making waves on Telegram:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Trending via Reddit:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Live now on Messenger:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Trending via WeChat:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Making waves on Telegram:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Trending via Reddit:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Freshly posted on X:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Just landed via Slack:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Just landed via Discord:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Making waves on WeChat:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

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