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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Breaking via Slack:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Spotted on Threads:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Reported on TikTok:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2333 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,495

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,495

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Reported on Messenger:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on Slack:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Making waves on X:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Spotted on Threads:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Broadcasted on X:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Going viral on Instagram:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Breaking via Messenger:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

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