Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I love doing research. I will look up some stuff in a minute.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Going bananas on Slack:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Just shared via WeChat:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Trending via TikTok:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Going bananas on Threads:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Funny raisin quotes

Funny raisin quotes are the perfect blend of sweet and silly 🍇😂 Whether you’re a snack lover or just here for the laughs, these witty lines will wrinkle you up with joy! From clever puns to quirky observations, get ready to raisin your spirits and share some smiles 🍷😄 #SnackTime #RaisinTheRoof

New funny raisin quotes 👇

All funny raisin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You are the Monday of my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Trending via Reddit:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Going viral on Discord:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Trending via Reddit:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴