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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going viral on TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Live now on Instagram:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Breaking via X:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Just shared via YouTube:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Reported on Telegram:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Trending via YouTube:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Just shared via Slack:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Seen just now on Slack:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Reported on Twitch:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

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