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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Going viral on Slack:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Making waves on Messenger:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Trending via Messenger:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Trending via Discord:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Trending via Slack:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Funny rectangle quotes

New funny rectangle quotes 👇

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

0

2 months ago

alone, ancestor, ancestors, dance, dark, darkness, depressed, depression, eat, eating, eating alone, fight, glowing, glowing rectangle, loneliness, meal, meals, rectangle, staring, technology, together, while

All funny rectangle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Discord this month:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

23 shares on X this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

71 shares on Discord this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

20 shares on X this month:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

38 shares on X this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going viral on Slack:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Just landed via Facebook:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Just landed via Messenger:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Going viral on Facebook:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny rectangle quotes

New funny rectangle quotes 👇

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

All funny rectangle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨