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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Shared recently on YouTube:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Going viral on Slack:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes

New funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

1 day ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats

All funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

84 shares on X this month:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I love when the plot thickens.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Going viral on YouTube:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Shared recently on TikTok:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Freshly posted on X:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Spotted on Telegram:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes

New funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

All funny Red-Nosed Reindeer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨