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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Going viral on Threads:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Trending via Threads:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Just landed via X:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Seen just now on Discord:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Freshly posted on Facebook:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Just landed via Slack:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Live now on Twitch:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Trending via Telegram:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Seen just now on Slack:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

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