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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just shared via Telegram:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Making waves on WeChat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Just shared via X:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Just landed via Twitch:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Just landed via Slack:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Trending via Pinterest:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Messenger this month:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Breaking via Twitch:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Freshly posted on X:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Going viral on X:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Spotted on Reddit:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Making waves on WeChat:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

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