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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Trending via Reddit:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Live now on Reddit:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Just shared via Messenger:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Just shared via Discord:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Spotted on YouTube:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Funny rising price quotes

New funny rising price quotes 👇

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

1 week ago

changing, dollar, Dollar Tree, due, fiddy, humor, inflation, money, name, price, prices, retail, rising, rising price, shopping, tree, Tree Fiddy

All funny rising price quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

100 shares on Threads this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

32 shares on Slack this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Going viral on X:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Just landed via Threads:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Going viral on Twitch:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Trending via Facebook:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny rising price quotes

New funny rising price quotes 👇

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

All funny rising price quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨