Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Having a job ruined my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Just landed via Slack:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Going viral on WeChat:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Making waves on WeChat:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Going bananas on Threads:

The void screams into me.

Just shared via Slack:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Going bananas on Discord:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

88 shares on Slack this month:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

34 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Just landed via X:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Spotted on Reddit:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Breaking via Messenger:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Trending via Discord:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

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