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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Live now on WeChat:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Just landed via Discord:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Breaking via Discord:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Spotted on Discord:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

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Funny seafood quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Making waves on WeChat:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Trending via Snapchat:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Just shared via Messenger:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Just shared via Telegram:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Just landed via Discord:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

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