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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Spotted on Messenger:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Trending via WeChat:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Spotted on Instagram:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Making waves on Slack:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Making waves on Messenger:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

31 shares on YouTube this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

67 shares on Threads this month:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Spotted on WeChat:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Just landed via TikTok:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Spotted on Discord:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Seen just now on X:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

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