Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Commentary:
Me: Begging for sleep! 😴
Brain: Nah, let's have a midnight meeting to review our greatest hits of bad decisions! 🤦‍♂️💭
Me: Can we reschedule for never? 🙅‍♀️😂
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Commentary:
🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"
4 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to follow the doctor's orders! 🍹🪞 Who knew self-reflection could be so intoxicating? Maybe the real question is: does the mirror judge your choice of cocktail? 🤔😄 Remember, it's all about perspective… and a good sense of humor! Cheers to seeing eye to eye with yourself! 🥂✨
4 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Commentary:
"When your inner drunk advisor gives you advice, you know it's time to pour another drink 🥃🤔 #CheersToQuestionableWisdom"
4 months ago
Share →: The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Commentary:
"Rich people have it all – the fancy cars, the luxurious vacations, and the designer clothes. Meanwhile, I'm over here budgeting for my morning coffee. The struggle is real, my friends."
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Commentary:
"Don't fret, you're right on track in life! Just remember, it's all part of the grand plan of horrible choices 😅🤦‍♂️ #LifeGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Commentary:
"Feeling like a lazy couch potato next to this overachieving yogurt 🥴🥄 Maybe I should sign up for some self-improvement classes! 💪🏼 #YogurtGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Commentary:
Seems like your brain decided to throw a wild party without permission! 🧠🎉 Maybe it's time for a mental hangover cure – a nap and some ice cream! 🍦💭 Just remember, thinking is like a workout for your brain- don't skip leg day…I mean, mind day! 💪😜
5 months ago
Share →: You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 😂 Oh the classic case of self-sabotage, where your vibe goes from 💃 to 🚫 in a matter of seconds just because your brain decided to hit the rewind button to a cringe-worthy memory! Remembering past mishaps is like being your own personal DJ, playing the greatest hits of awkward moments on repeat! 🤦‍♂️💥 #VibeKiller #ThrowbackTroubles
5 months ago
Share →: I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of "pot calling the kettle black"! 🤦‍♂️ It's like a broken mirror asking you why you look so shattered! 😂 Oh, the irony of life's little absurdities!