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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Going bananas on X:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Trending via Discord:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Live now on Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Just landed via X:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Funny shortcomings quotes

Funny shortcomings quotes bring a lighthearted twist to our little flaws and quirks 😜✨ Embracing imperfections with humor makes life way more fun and relatable! Whether you’re laughing at yourself or sharing a giggle with friends, these witty gems remind us that nobody’s perfect—and that’s totally okay 😂💫 Ready to celebrate your perfectly imperfect self? Let’s dive into some chuckles and smiles! 🎉😁

New funny shortcomings quotes 👇

All funny shortcomings quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

51 shares on X this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Just shared via X:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Breaking via Facebook:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Breaking via TikTok:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Broadcasted on Threads:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

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