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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Going viral on Instagram:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Spotted on Telegram:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Going viral on Reddit:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Making waves on Twitch:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Live now on Slack:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Funny single parent quotes

New funny single parent quotes 👇

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

1 month ago

adjustment, boyfriend, hotel, Hotel Mama, humor, living, living together, mama, me, moved, parent, relationship, responsibility, single, single parent, straight, together

All funny single parent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on X this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

51 shares on TikTok this month:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Trending via Snapchat:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Making waves on Slack:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Going viral on Messenger:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny single parent quotes

New funny single parent quotes 👇

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

All funny single parent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨