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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Breaking via Discord:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Just landed via Instagram:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Trending via WeChat:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Making waves on TikTok:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

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Funny sixth sense quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

53 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Going viral on Twitch:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Reported on Messenger:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Reported on Twitch:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Spotted on Instagram:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Breaking via Facebook:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

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