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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,060

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Spotted on Instagram:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Live now on Pinterest:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Breaking via Facebook:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Trending via WeChat:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Home » Funny Sleeping Schedule Quotes

Funny sleeping schedule quotes

New funny sleeping schedule quotes 👇

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time

All funny sleeping schedule quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

99 shares on X this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

81 shares on X this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Seen just now on X:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Going viral on Discord:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Going viral on X:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny sleeping schedule quotes

New funny sleeping schedule quotes 👇

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

All funny sleeping schedule quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨