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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Just landed via Twitch:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Aura is the real business card.

Going viral on Discord:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Just shared via Slack:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Just shared via Messenger:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Making waves on TikTok:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Reported on Pinterest:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Shared recently on Discord:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Reported on Messenger:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

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