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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Just shared via Instagram:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Spotted on Twitch:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Reported on WeChat:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Going viral on WeChat:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Just shared via Threads:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Going viral on Twitch:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

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