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Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

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Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

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In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

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I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

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Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

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Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

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Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

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It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

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Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

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Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Updated

Dec 19, 2025

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Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Spotted on TikTok:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just landed via TikTok:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Making waves on Discord:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Trending via Discord:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Just shared via Telegram:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Just landed via Threads:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Home » Funny Snack Buying Quotes

Funny snack buying quotes

New funny snack buying quotes 👇

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

0

3 weeks ago

9, age, always, buying, child, humor, matter, money, old, road, road trip, should, snack, snack buying, snacks, spending, travel, trip, unsupervised, year

All funny snack buying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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68 shares on X this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

52 shares on Reddit this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

83 shares on X this month:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

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Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

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Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

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Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

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“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

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I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

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Live now on WeChat:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Breaking via Twitch:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Breaking via Messenger:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Going viral on Twitch:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Just landed via Discord:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny snack buying quotes

New funny snack buying quotes 👇

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

All funny snack buying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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