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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Trending via Discord:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Just landed via Twitch:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Just landed via Messenger:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Spotted on Telegram:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Just landed via Messenger:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Trending via Discord:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Just shared via Twitch:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Seen just now on X:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Breaking via WeChat:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

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