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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Breaking via TikTok:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Reported on Pinterest:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Breaking via Instagram:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Trending via Twitch:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Spotted on X:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Trending via LinkedIn:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Shared recently on Messenger:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just landed via X:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Live now on Snapchat:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Trending via Telegram:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

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