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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Making waves on Twitch:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Spotted on WeChat:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending via Threads:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Trending via Threads:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Discord:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Trending via Telegram:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Trending via Messenger:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Shared recently on Slack:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

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