Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Just landed via Facebook:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Going bananas on TikTok:

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Spotted on WeChat:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Seen just now on Threads:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Funny start day quotes

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All funny start day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

81 shares on X this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

90 shares on X this month:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

24 shares on X this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Going bananas on Slack:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Spotted on Instagram:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Going bananas on X:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Just shared via Slack:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Making waves on Telegram:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Shared recently on Twitch:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

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