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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Shared recently on Threads:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Spotted on Telegram:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Going viral on Instagram:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Trending via Discord:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Funny stop sign quotes

New funny stop sign quotes 👇

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

1 month ago

doing, driving, frustration, green, humor, joke, patience, sat, sign, stop, stop sign, today, traffic, turn, waiting, wondering

All funny stop sign quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

85 shares on X this month:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

78 shares on X this month:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Spotted on Telegram:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Trending via Messenger:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Just landed via WeChat:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Making waves on Facebook:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Shared recently on WeChat:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Freshly posted on X:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Just shared via Messenger:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stop sign quotes

New funny stop sign quotes 👇

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

All funny stop sign quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨