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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Making waves on Twitch:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Reported on Messenger:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Just landed via Discord:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Just landed via TikTok:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Spotted on X:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Breaking via Reddit:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Trending via LinkedIn:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Trending via Threads:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Shared recently on Discord:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

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