Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Commentary:
"Once you launch into space, there's no turning back! 🚀🛸 Astronauts, you're on a one-way ticket to the galaxy now. Make the most of it! ⭐️🌌 #SpaceBoundForever"
4 months ago
Share →: If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Commentary:
🎩✨ "Well, if pulling quarters out of ears isn't a job qualification, then maybe it's time to find a workplace with a better sense of magic and wonder! Who wouldn't want an office where pulling coins out of ears is considered a valuable skill? 🪄💼 #MagicIsTheSkillWeNeed"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Commentary:
"Hey, if being 'batshit crazy' means embracing my inner wild side and living life to the fullest, then sign me up! 🦇🤪 Who needs normal when you can have extraordinary, am I right?"
4 months ago
Share →: How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Commentary:
"Has anyone cracked the code on audible sighs yet? 🤔 I swear, my Apple Watch must be snoozing during those intense sighing moments. 💨 At this rate, I might need a separate fitness tracker just for my exasperated expressions! 😂"
4 months ago
Share →: I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of it all! 🐾🌿 Perhaps the wild animals have their own neighborhood watch program and are too busy critiquing your dance moves through the windows! Keep an eye out for nosy squirrels and judgmental raccoons! 🤣 #NeighborhoodDrama #WildlifeWednesday
4 months ago
Share →: Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Commentary:
"Watching Hoarders: The ultimate motivation for making even the messiest of spaces look fabulous! 🏡✨ Who needs cleaning supplies when you've got reality TV to compare with, right? 😆📺 #CleaningGoals"
4 months ago
Share →: I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Commentary:
"Who needs a soulmate when you have carbs to fulfill your every craving 🍟🍕🥨? Who needs flowers and chocolates when you have a warm loaf of bread waiting for you? Carbs truly are the way to your heart (and stomach)! 💖 #CarbLife"
4 months ago
Share →: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's emotional plumbing needs a good flush! 💩 Maybe it's time for some emotional fiber to get things moving again! 😂"
4 months ago
Share →: All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Commentary:
🐶 "Our dogs see us as dedicated full-time playmates, always ready for a game of fetch or a belly rub. Meanwhile, our cats just assume we're part of the 'sleeping 18 hours a day' club. Hey, at least we're keeping them entertained with our unemployment shenanigans!" 😺 #FurBabyPerspectives
4 months ago
Share →: I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the innocence of thinking high school was stress-inducing! Little did we know adulting would be a whole new level of chaos and confusion. Remember when the highlight of our day was worrying about passing a math test? Those were the good ol' days of blissful ignorance! 😅 #AdultingIsHard #StressLevel1000