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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Trending via Slack:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Going viral on Telegram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Reported on X:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Seen just now on X:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Going viral on Telegram:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Trending via Threads:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Just shared via Facebook:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Trending via Discord:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

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