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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

28 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Breaking via X:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Spotted on YouTube:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Just shared via Instagram:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Home » Funny Tortoise Quotes

Funny tortoise quotes

New funny tortoise quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Commentary:
🎁🐢 This Christmas, why settle for fleeting joy when you can gift everlasting companionship with a tortoise? 🎄🐢 Sure, it may not fit under the tree, but hey, the gift of a tortoise is a gift that truly keeps on giving… and giving… and giving. 🎁🐢 Who needs diamonds when you can have a shelled friend for life? 😉 #TortoiseLove

For even more funny tortoise quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny tortoise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

28 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Just landed via Reddit:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Just shared via WeChat:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Going viral on Instagram:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Seen just now on X:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Trending via Telegram:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Trending via WeChat:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

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