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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Discord:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Spotted on Twitch:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Live now on Discord:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Going viral on Threads:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Seen just now on WeChat:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Making waves on Instagram:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Funny traffic jam quotes

Funny traffic jam quotes 🚗💨 turn those frustrating standstills into moments of laughter! Whether you’re stuck honking in a sea of cars or crawling at a snail’s pace 🐌, a clever quip can lighten the mood and make the wait fly by. Ready to swap road rage for chuckles? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on one of life’s most annoying yet universal experiences! 😂🚦

New funny traffic jam quotes 👇

All funny traffic jam quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on X this month:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

15 shares on X this month:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Spotted on Telegram:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Making waves on Reddit:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Spotted on Slack:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Spotted on Discord:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

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