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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2427 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,589

Funny Quotes Topics

15,260

Funny Quotes Images

12,589

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just landed via Slack:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Trending via Discord:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Trending via TikTok:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2427 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,589

Funny Quotes Topics

15,260

Funny Quotes Images

12,589

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Live now on TikTok:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Making waves on TikTok:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Just shared via Reddit:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

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