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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Going viral on Reddit:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Trending via Slack:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Home » Funny Uk Quotes

Funny UK quotes

Funny UK quotes bring a cheeky twist to everyday life 🇬🇧😂 From witty banter to clever wordplay, these gems capture the British sense of humor perfectly ☕️🎩 Whether you’re a fan of dry sarcasm or playful jabs, get ready to chuckle and share some laughs with these iconic snippets of UK wit! 🎉🤣

New funny UK quotes 👇

For even more funny UK quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny UK quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1874 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,036

Funny Quotes Topics

14,823

Funny Quotes Images

12,036

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Going viral on Threads:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Going viral on Reddit:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Breaking via Facebook:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Making waves on Slack:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Spotted on Facebook:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Reported on Twitch:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

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