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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Making waves on Discord:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Trending via Pinterest:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Live now on Discord:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Breaking via Twitch:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Going viral on WeChat:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Spotted on Reddit:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Making waves on YouTube:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Funny undertaker quotes

New funny undertaker quotes 👇

All funny undertaker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

62 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

81 shares on Discord this month:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,588

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Pizza should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Shared recently on Discord:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Going viral on X:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Going viral on YouTube:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Breaking via Pinterest:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Shared recently on Discord:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

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