Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Trending via Pinterest:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Going viral on TikTok:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Funny undisturbed quotes

Funny undisturbed quotes are the perfect way to stay calm 😌 while keeping your sense of humor intact 😂. Whether you’re dodging distractions or just enjoying some peaceful vibes 🌿, these witty sayings will have you chuckling without missing a beat 🎯. Ready to embrace serenity with a smile? Let’s dive into the funniest undisturbed moments that prove silence really is golden—and hilarious! 🎉✨

New funny undisturbed quotes 👇

All funny undisturbed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

17 shares on Twitch this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

51 shares on Slack this month:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

72 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

69 shares on X this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,394

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Just landed via Reddit:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Spotted on Discord:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Going viral on YouTube:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Trending via Reddit:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Going viral on YouTube:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Going viral on Facebook:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Shared recently on Threads:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Going bananas on Slack:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴