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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Going viral on Threads:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Freshly posted on X:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Trending via Instagram:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

Funny unique opinion quotes

New funny unique opinion quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

2 weeks ago

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All funny unique opinion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

62 shares on X this month:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

49 shares on Slack this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

91 shares on Instagram this month:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

77 shares on Slack this month:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Just shared via X:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Live now on X:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Breaking via WeChat:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Making waves on Telegram:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny unique opinion quotes

New funny unique opinion quotes 👇

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

All funny unique opinion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨