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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Going viral on TikTok:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Live now on Slack:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Funny unprepared quotes

New funny unprepared quotes 👇

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, closing, everyone, having, humiliating, humiliation, humor, hungry, i, knows, link, me, sunburn, survival, unprepared, weakness, wilderness

All funny unprepared quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing that could possibly put a smile on my face is a Sharpie.

20 shares on X this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

21 shares on X this month:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Spotted on Reddit:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Freshly posted on X:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Going viral on Slack:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Shared recently on Slack:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny unprepared quotes

New funny unprepared quotes 👇

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

All funny unprepared quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨